Living in St. John’s means that in order to fly one first has to transcend the climate. Newfoundland-Labrador is extremely challenging for even the most determined traveler. A minor breeze of mist will ground the largest airlines while the smallest cigar sized plane will merrily bounce into altitude through the blizzard.
The wait for delayed flights to either arrive or depart creates an excellent window for attending to the brutal details of life. Now is the time to minister to the chores of administration one habitually avoids. It’s the time to make the tough phone calls. The airport is the best place to have any awful conversation, because one can bail with the simple and truthful statement: Oh, I’ve got to dash, the flight is being called. It may not be your specific flight, but seeing as someone’s flight is always being called, this is a ready stand by for a hasty exit. Now is the time to send the rejection slips. Or in my case, read the rejection slips.
Do the breaking up. Get broken up with. Walk out of the debris of your life confident that someone will sweep it up after you leave and it will be like it never happened. In fact, it will be like you never happened, so damn the torpedoes. Airports are like self-cleaning ovens. Except, unlike self-cleaning ovens, airports are great places for scavenging. Forgotten sunglasses. Half empty, but still warm coffee cups. Hair buckles, phones, sometimes travel pillows, or stuffed animals. It’s fun to go the lost & found and say: Excuse me, did anyone turn in….um….by chance…any…you know. It has happened that the attendant helpfully replies: A wallet containing five thousand dollars?
Take the opportunity to weep in public. If done correctly with just the right amount of sorrow, but not straying into hysteria, it often results in you being given a free upgrade.
When people around you are speaking rapidly in a foreign language, stare at them with veiled meaning, as if you understand completely what they are saying and disapprove.
Especially while in the airport: Don’t forget to get on the plane.
Peace and Love, my travelers.