Envy will get you nowhere in life.
Many people ask me: Is your gorgiosity natural, or is it fake? I tell them the truth. It’s fake.
My face takes work. I’ve got a face like the road less taken. It’s always got a hole in it somewhere. Every morning when I get up I’ve got to lay down the asphalt. I plaster on the foundation, the powder, the blusher, the concealer, the eye shadow, the eyeliner, the mascara, the eyebrow pencil, the lip pencil, the lipliner, the lipstick, the lip gloss. Then I spray the whole jeezly works of it with Windex. Keeps it all in place. I hate it when you go outdoors and your face blows off.
All in all, it takes me roughly five hours a day to achieve my natural beauty. And that’s only if I’m going out to get groceries. A big event can take up to three days. And yes, always wear make-up to go to the grocery store. You never know who you’re going to see there. Probably someone you don’t want to see. But they will see you. Do not wear your pyjamas to the grocery store, and always wear your face, even if it’s the make-up you applied three days ago. I make it a point to wash my face every two days whether I need to or not.
And what is it with this new trend of wearing pyjamas out in the real world? People are out in their flannels, wandering around the grocery store in their slippers and flannels, facial mud masks, rollers in their hair, and that’s just the men. I’ve seen women in the Costco prancing around in negligees. Cell phones and wireless have done this to us. It’s like, we just don’t really ever want to get out of bed.
Getting dressed is too much trouble.
I’ll only have to get undressed again later on. Why bother.
The Zombie apocalypse has arrived. And they’re wearing their pyjamas.
Next thing you know, we won’t even bother to get out of bed at all. We’ll head off to work with the bed strapped to our back and the pillow tied to our head. A vain and undiluted individual must always, always, get dressed.
I wear sequins to put the garbage out. One of my top ten beauty tips is to definitely get dressed.
Wear all your best stuff all the time. People save their best stuff for special occasions. This is arse foremost. “I can’t wear it all the time, I’ll wear it out!” Well, yeah! Wear it out into the world and every day will be special. This goes for jewellery, hats, scarves and underwear. And never adhere to the “less is more” policy. No one has the right to tell you that layering earrings, necklace, scarf, hat, wrap, cape, skirt, pants and sweater over leg warmers is too much.
Does mother nature tell the rose bush to only grow one flower?